Pugs, death & grief

Barry W. Enderwick
10 min readMar 25, 2016

1/ Heads up, normally I write about brand, business, startups, etc. But this post is about my grief around my dog dying yesterday. If you’re someone who thinks “get over it” or “it was only a dog” when you hear someone talk about losing their pet, move on. This is not for you.

To be fair, I don’t know if it’s for anyone but me. I keep replaying things in my head. My hope is that by documenting it, I can stop the mind tape loop that’s causing anxiety, depression, and crying. I know time is the only true way through and it is important to grieve. This is not an attempt to short circuit that.

2/I writing and publishing it without proofing. It is just a mind dump. Might be full of typos, grammatical errors, or whatever. I don’t really care.

I’d been sitting with Zu Zu watching her struggle to breathe. She didn’t look like Zu Zu. No personality, just fear. No matter how much I pet or held her head, not matter how often I kissed her on the head and told her I loved her there was no real response. She was alive but not Zu Zu. She was nestled in the heated bed we’d gotten for her a few months ago. She loved that bed. Unfortunately it turned out to be her death bed. I told her I loved her and not to go anywhere as went to the bathroom quickly.

In the bathroom I became overcome with sadness and started crying again. What would have been a…

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Barry W. Enderwick

Brand/marketing executive, Kaizen (ex Netflix). I write on startups, strategy, business, culture & design. Also Sandwiches Of History on Insta/TikTok/YouTube